Bike for the Brain Social Media coordinator Corinna West met Martha Prim at the 2011 Kansas Recovery Conference in Wichita, Ks. Martha is a graduate of Consumers as Providers.
Consumers as Providers:
Martha Prim, a graduate of the consumers as providers program
From the KU School of Social Welfare Website: The Consumers as Providers Training Program teaches consumers of mental health services the skills and knowledge on the provision of mental health services in order to work in the mental health or human service field as a consumer provider such as a Certified Peer Specialist. Consumers as Providers is a Kansas Certified Peer Specialist Training Program that consists of 18 weeks classroom instruction and Educational Support Group followed by 104 hours (7 weeks) of internship activities. Consumers as Providers partners with mental health agencies across the state of Kansas, Kansas universities and community colleges and social service and mental health agencies. Students do not receive college credit for the course and are not guaranteed a job upon completion of the course, however; research conducted with the program demonstrates that over half of the students who complete the course find employment and a third of graduates continue their education following the class.
The purpose of Consumers as Providers is threefold in nature:
- Employment Opportunities: Increase the skills and knowledge of people with a psychiatric disability in order to facilitate meaningful employment.
- Education: Encourage individual with a psychiatric disability to pursue post-secondary education.
- Recovery: Build a base of knowledge about mental health services in order to enhance consumer’s personal journey of recovery
Martha Prim is a person in recovery from mental health diagnoses who took the Consumers as Providers Class. Here is her graduation essay:
I was asked by a friend if I would post my story that i had to write for my Consumers as Providers class it was the hardest 5 pages that i have ever had to write because it dealt with everything I didnt want to look at Please NO rude comments or anything like that again only a few people have read it since I wrote it last december so this is my first time putting it out for people to read.
Oh i also have to give credit where its due if it were not for the key note at the 2011 recovery conference about living out loud this would never have been seen by anyone else no matter how much a friend would have asked me to post it
Martha Prim
Something must be wrong with me
with all this hurt inside
all this built up anger
cannot be denied
Something must be wrong with me
if all I do is cry
I can’t stop this pain
all I want to do is hide
Something must be wrong with me
if my emotions run wild
all this confusion does
is make me feel like a lost child
Something must be wrong with me
with all these terrible things
hidden inside of me
depression is what it brings
Something must be wrong with me
when all I want is things to be ok
for my mind and body to be free
to finally make it though the dayI wrote this poem to express how I have felt since I was first diagnosed with a mental illness from the age of ten up I knew there had to be something wrong with me because I wasn’t like other kids my age. When I was eleven, we were living in Tennessee at a homeless shelter and one of the staff named Jimmy started to observe me and somehow he realized I heard voices and also struggled emotionally. So at age eleven was when I first hospitalized and diagnosed with schizophrenia. If I thought I was different before, I really knew I was different now. Even back then I had strengths that helped me get through that time. I had a great sense of humor and I found that listening to music helped with the voices. The funniest thing was even at age eleven I did not like seeing therapists and never worked with them like I should have. I was put on medications to help with my moods and the voices but being so young there were not a lot of choices with medications.
When I was 13 we moved to Council Bluffs Iowa and I started 7th grade at Kirn Junior High School. It was my first time going to a public school since school since I was in second grade so I was really nervous and not sure how my being “different” would affect me. Well the, teachers and the staff were very welcoming and they got me in to classes that I could handle and they really worked with me. Though I was still having a rough time with the depression and voices, I started to learn coping skills that would help me in the years to come, like deep breathing using a stress ball and using music more to help calm me down. The one thing I had not learned yet and wouldn’t learn for a few more years was that talking to people and getting your feelings out helped. The best strength I had during that time was social supports. I had teachers who pushed me out of my comfort zone especially my 8th grade year when I was signed up for choir. By the end of the year quiet little Martha was singing a duet in front of the whole school. I also found out through the school volunteer club that I really liked to volunteer and that it gave me hope that I had never felt before.
When I started high school, things were going pretty good for me I had friends and even though I left my junior high teachers behind, I found that the teachers and people at Abraham Lincoln High School were very accepting of me. One of the first things that they did was help me to find a safe place to go if I was having a rough time. In the 9th grade was when I first started volunteering at the soup kitchen called Mohms Place. I volunteered there once a week for 2 years and I also found the Red Cross Teen Volunteer Club that taught leadership and helped turn me in to the person I could be proud of. I was with the Red Cross until 2007 and in 2005 I was awarded the Teen volunteer of the year award. Through volunteering I learned that even though I had a mental illness, I could still make a difference in the lives of others.
I would like to say during my high school years that I had my mental illness under control and for the most part I did but during those years I was hospitalized five times for different reasons but each time I came out knowing myself a little better. By 2005 my diagnoses was changed to bi-polar with psychotic tendencies. I was actually relieved with that diagnoses because stigma for bi-polar was not as bad as the stigma for schizophrenia. (Which I had people tell me I could not go to camps and that they did not want their children around me.) As a teenager it really hurt especially when all you’re wanting is to fit in. I think a real changing point for me was my 10th grade year when I was given an online mentor and was given the chance that summer of my 11th grade year to go to a camp for teens with individual education plans and learn how to advocate for myself. It really empowered me to take control of my life.
My senior year of high school was a rough year emotional wise and I was in and out of the hospital 4 times that year. One thing that did not help was my family moved us to a shelter in Nebraska and I had to take a city bus for an hour to get to my school which was in Iowa I just thank my principal who told them that as long as I could get there I could graduate at my high school. One thing that did help was I had a therapist who really cared about me and who I saw twice a week. Since she came to my place there was no way I could avoid her. That was the first time I realized how much therapy could help. Well I made it through high school and graduated with my class. I started working at a bible day camp and I loved it even though it was very emotionally draining. That is when my mental illness got in the way and I was hospitalized again and was told I needed to stop working.
In October of 2007 was when I first moved to Topeka, Kansas I was not on medications or seeking treatment because I wanted to prove that I could make it on my own. It stayed that way until February 2009 when I was trying to work a full time job and have my own place and everything just crashed and that is also when we found out that my mom had cancer. So I went into the hospital and was put back on medications and hooked up with Valeo Mental Health Center for doctors and therapy. It was pretty uneventful besides that I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and was told about Diletical BehaviorTherapy. I started DBT that June and that is what started me on my journey to where I am today because I started learning the skills I needed to learn to succeed. At that time, I was not connecting with my therapist and had considered dropping therapy. Then I was accepted into the Care Program and switched all my services over there and when I was hospitalized they got me in with my current therapist. In February of 2010 things really started to connect with me because she showed me a copy of the journey to recovery stages and I was able to connect with where I was, which was mainly in stage one and two and it made me want to get to stage three and beyond. I really started working on myself and learning to use the strengths I had in me and around me for my benefit. I was learning that I could be my own worst enemy or that I could help myself succeed.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still struggled and did not know what I wanted out of life and I went to the recovery conference and someone suggested the Consumers as Providers class as my next step and I told them I just did not think I would get in and be able to make the changes necessary to succeed in it. I decided to try for it anyways. I was accepted in to the Consumer as Providers Class and I think that is when I realized that I could change and that I had used many strengths to get to where I am today The biggest strength I used was believing in me and being persistent in my recovery. The Consumer as Providers class has taught me that I am more than a consumer of mental health services I am a human being with strengths and talents. I think this poem sums up my journey because it is really about using strengths within and being ready to fight for yourself
I fight through the hurt
I fight through the pain
then life comes along
It knocks me down
I get back up again
I was made a fighter
I can fight these feelings inside of me
I can fight these urges to quit
I can fight until it’s the real me you see
I’m ready to fight for the future I see
I’m ready to fight through the pain
I’m ready to fight to stay alive
I’m finally ready to just fight for meI hope as you read this that you felt empowered and know that I am still on my journey to recovery and that there was no one big thing that helped me get to where I am today. it was a lot of little strengths put together that makes me the survivor I am today.
Here’s two more updates that Martha Prim wanted to post about a follow up to how the Consumers as Providers program has helped her move forward in life.
hi everyone i wanted to give you some good news I passed my test for washburn tech and am enrolled for the fall 2011 semester the only reason I am posting this here is i want to give encouragment to anyone else who might be wanting to farther their education when i was younger i was told i would never finish high school let a lone pass a exam for college well i proved them wrong and i just want to encourage you to prove wrong the lables or limitations others have put on you
And this one about some of the priorities that are important to our Bike for the Brain beneficiaries:
another great update that might empower others I went to see my physical doctor on wednesday and with hard work and exercise i have reveresed my diabetes and have lost 40 pounds since december
All congratulation from Bike for the Brain to Consumers as Providers graduate Martha Prim.
